Blogging is hard when you’re trying not to be a buttface.
About a year and a half ago, I moved back to my hometown. This has, by and large, been a blessing. Doors have opened with an ease that, if you believe in kismet (and I do), seemed to indicate this move was the right thing to do. This is in addition to the cost of living being more reasonable than when I was living in the Bay Area (which still and will always hold a special place in my heart. If I ever win the lottery – which I won’t, because you can’t win if you don’t play – then I am moving back there. However, someday, when all of my books are beloved worldwide and making bank from film adaptations, I will definitely move back and settle in West Portal. So let it be written! So let it be done!)
Where was I?
Oh, right: moving back has mostly been a positive experience. The one exception is receiving some less-than-stellar news shortly after relocation. This is where we tie into the very first sentence of this post. This thing has affected me, for sure, but not as much as it has affected somebody else. That person doesn’t have an online presence and is also very private. Do you know what kind of person would spill that person’s laundry all over the internet as supposed therapy, self-healing, and whatever other excuses? A buttface. Do you know what I actively strive not to be? A buttface.
I can, however, talk about me and how I feel. That’s the real purpose of this post. I need to put thing out there, however lacking in detail, so that I can move forward. I need to put all of this in writing so that I can acknowledge that, yes, this is hella hard, hella scary, and I really don’t… I don’t know how things will be. I know how I want them to be, but these reminders of how some things are out of my control really suck.
I will persevere. I choose to thrive despite adversity. I don’t drag down others from stumbling or behaving in an incompetent manner.
Somehow, I will take all of this pain, and turn it into something beautiful.